Death's Door presents 100 things about me
you muthafucker's try to write 100 things about yourselves. Shit ain't easy.
1. After I wake up in the morning I lay there for at least ten minutes doin a body check. Please don’t ask me what I’m checkin for.
2. I love old musicals.
3. I’m a trivia freak. I know more about nothing then most folk.
4. At one time in my life most of my peer group was made up of pimps, ho's, and drug dealers.
5. I’ve been shot at twice.
6. I’m a decent drummer, I used to be a damn good drummer.
7. I cried when as a kid I found out that you couldn’t believe everything you read.
8. Stephen King books scare me. Horror movies scare me.
9. Just the sight of a zombie fucks me up.
10. I’m smarter then I look. I belong to at least one high IQ society.
11. Dogs and cats think I’m one of them.
12. I still miss my cat after all these years, and still can't bring myself to get another
13. I don’t like talkin on the phone cause my attention starts to wonder.
14. I once sponsored a girl’s softball team.
15. When I was in high school I was a cheerleader for the girl’s volleyball team. The cheerleaders also got to rub the girls down before and after the game.
16. I have a serious problem remembering names. But I can recognize a person two hundred feet away by the way they walk
17. The dumbest thing I’ve ever done was to sell my house.
18. I hate high fives, and I rather see a woman pick up dimes with her ass cheeks then do a high five.
19. Just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean I’m in a bad mood.
20. I find happy people off-putting.
21. I started bouncing in bars to prove to myself that I was a tough as my father.
22. I’ve been in over seven thousand violent incidents where serious physicality was involved whilst workin in bars over a twenty-year period. I still feel bad about people I’ve hurt in bars.
23. I hate boxing because I know what it takes to knock another person out.
24. I hate seeing people hurting themselves.
25. I was once accused of being a warlock.
26. I’ve been accused of being a nark
27. I almost became a pro wrestler in the eighties.
28. I once jumped off a second story balcony to see what it felt like.
29. Heights scare the shit out of me. I hate being up high cause I always think about jumping.
30. First time I ever got a blowjob I got punched in the nutsac. That’s what I got for laughing. (It tickled)
31. The happiest I’ve ever been was playing drums in a band
32. The first breast I ever saw was on Monty Python’s Flying Circes. I’ve worked hard ever since to see more.
33. I’m shy
34. I very seldom lie. And if I do it’s only to keep people from being hurt.
35. I’m insanely trustworthy.
36. They wouldn’t let me in the Cub Scouts as a kid because I was Black.
37. I’ve been accused of being an actor in porn movies.
38. When I eat apples, I eat em core and all. It took me years to find out that everybody else doesn’t.
39. I can sneeze with my eye’s open. (try it)
40. I once hit a man so hard he peed himself. That was some funny shit.
41. I’ve never broken a bone.
42. I once took a beer bottle thru the right eye that took over ninety stitches to fix.
43. I understand most shit. I really do.
44. I’ve been to the other side.
45. I’m the only person I know that’s ever hit another person with another person.
46. My best friend is a woman 17 years my junior
47. Between the ages of 21 and 22, I tried every drug known to man. And a few that weren’t.
48. I once threw my older brother thru the windshield of a titty pink 56 Caddy.
49. People that talk to me on the phone find it hard to believe I’m black.
50. I never judge.
51. Women tend to be very protective toward me.
52. I can’t play any card games.
53. If I talk to you, I like you. And yes, it’s that simple.
54. I think I’ve been clinically depressed for years.
55. I actually like the taste of whiskey.
56. I love what I do
57. Pain is part of my everyday life
58. I’ll usually do the right thing
59. I have very high morels.
60. Rest assured that my everyday stress level is a lot higher then yours.
61. I have to sit where I can watch the doors
62. When people stand directly behind me it makes me crazy.
63. I’ve gotten so angry before that I’ve actually shifted my ribcage out of place
64. Some days I just don’t give a fuck
65. I’m stubborn to a fault
66. I’m a lost romantic
67. I really do care
68. If I could teach my fellow Black man only one thing, it would be to abolish the word Nigger from his vocabulary.
69. I enjoy the little things
70. I’ve yet to see a “cute” newborn baby, and I know I’m not the only one.
71. I believe in love at first sight
72. I’ll take one for the team
73. What I think is sexy ain’t always going to be what you think is sexy
74. “It’s” out there
75. I’ve been told I’m on the FBI’s watch list
76. If five guys tell you they’re tough guy’s, four are lying.
77. I’ve worked as an actor
78. I’ve worked as a model
79. I'm scared of bears cause somewhere out there I know there's a bear with my name on it.
80. I’m pretty sure I’m mentally unstable. But if you know you're ubstable, does that mean you're still unstable?
81. I like to think of myself as ruggedly handsome
82. Years ago a physiatrist suggested I start wearing bright shirts to offset my negative image
83. I hate shopping malls
84. Except for the “fit” factor, I actually like being a big guy
85. I love being bald, plus it was my mother's idea
86. Ten year old boy’s probably have more body hair then I do
87. I miss the day's when a condom was just an after-thought
88. I once worked as a fashion photographer
89. Women tend to trust me right off the bat
90. I built my own computer
91. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for nurses and strippers
92. I run into people all the time that insist that I’ve saved their lives at one time or other, but I’ll be damned if I can remember any of it.
93. I believe in ghosts
94. I’ve seen ghosts
95. I’ve been felt up by a ghost
96. The worlds too big not to believe
97. I’ve worn pantyhose.
98. I enjoy driving the speed limit
99. I masturbate on a daily basis no matter if I need too or not.
100. I don't suffer fools lightly